There is something about endings that leave me feeling really contemplative. Two nights ago was the series finale of The Office. This is a show I’ve been committed to for nine years. Even though it was definitely time for the series to be over, there was a part of me that didn’t want to let go, that didn’t want to believe that it was over. There was a sweetness in the finale that I appreciated. Almost like the writers knew that the viewers needed some tenderness, some recognition for the time we had spent together. That this series had affected people and this goodbye meant something.

Last night, my cousin graduated from high school. During the ceremony, I found myself reflecting on my life for the past twelve years. What I’d done with my life, the people I loved, the people I grew apart from, the people I’d lost. I found myself thinking and feeling things really hard. So hard that my breath was taken away a few times. It left me thinking about the memories that had stuck and the ones that had fallen away. I couldn’t help wondering what the next twelve years hold.

Today, I’m grateful for lessons learned.

I’m learning that I don’t always have to entertain the part of me that wants to talk about the person I’m missing. That sometimes I can drown that part out with loud music while driving fast in a car with all the windows down.

I’m learning that people can affect us more than we realize. That someone can enter our lives, shake us to the core, and then leave just as quickly.

I’m learning that as scary as vulnerability can be, it’s always worth it. That even though rejection stings, it was so worth it to put myself out there. It is always worth it to try.

So, maybe we learn that sometimes there aren’t always answers to the questions that we have.

Sometimes we have to learn to move on even when something doesn’t feel finished.

And sometimes walking away is about realizing your own worth and strength.

That sometimes, being surrounded by people who care about you is all you really need to feel okay.

And sometimes, getting away from your every day life can really help to quiet your mind, put things into perspective and help move things around that didn’t feel moveable even a couple of days ago.