One thing that remains difficult for me is to be grateful for the things that aren’t going well in my life.

I continue to struggle with how to get out of the mindset of “never enough” to one of abundance. There are so many messages everywhere telling us that we aren’t good enough, that we need more things to be happy, to feel whole. What we truly need is more love, kindess, hope, peace. I would like to re- commit myself to the law of attraction. What I focus my attention on is what I will get back. If I remain truly grateful for everything in my life, to pause and reflect, then everything feels like a blessing. I have so much to be thankful for. I am enough, I have enough and I am grateful. Every. Single. Day. I will remember this mantra. There is always something to be grateful for.

I really believe that feeling grateful for the things that go wrong is important as well. Even if I stop to tell myself that I am going through this for a reason, that there is something to learn from this- that will be enough. When things don’t work out, it means I have taken a risk, stepped out of my comfort zone, tried something I wasn’t so sure about. Disappointment comes from having expectations. But, I cannot have expectations without first having an idea or a goal to strive towards.

On my flight home today, I was listening to some sad tunes and feeling lonely, sad and like I was steeping myself in missing and loss. I was really letting myself feel it, hanging out there, feeling its heaviness and how there wasn’t any room for anything else. I looked over to my left and saw a bracelet on my seat-mate’s wrist. That split second glance pulled me out of the heaviness. It was a message, a sign. It changed my entire outlook.

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(be brave, stay strong)

All of this stuff that’s troubling my heart means that I opened myself up to care about someone. That I allowed myself the opportunity to get to know someone new. I met someone that I probably would’ve never crossed paths with, someone quite different from me and felt deeply connected to him. I learned things, tried things, experienced things with him that were special and meant something. His gentle sweetness and genuine-ness helped to create safety and trust in a way that I’ve never experienced. I was open to giving and receiving kindness, appreciation and love, even when it felt terrifying to do so. I let him into parts of myself that were dark and twisty and he didn’t reject me because of them. I am so grateful to him.

As my girl Brené Brown says (in a nutshell) we cannot experience joy without first being grateful. It is so easy to forebode joy, because when things are going well we expect something to go wrong. We wait for the other shoe to drop. (dear self: try not to forebode joy.) There is nothing like living in joy, the entire world seems so interconnected. I feel like everything hums and sings around me when I’m living my life in joy.

Be brave & stay strong, friends.

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