This weekend I’ve been thinking a lot about failure and rejection. 

Everyday, I have the honor and privilege to be actively involved in other people’s lives. To know the intimate details of their good, bad and ugly. Everyday, people welcome me into their homes to help them sort things out, to work things through, to admit that what has been working isn’t working anymore. Everyday, I get to help people work towards improving their relationships with their spouse, partner and/or children. It is an enormous gift. I learn so much about the inner workings of relationships. I learn so much about myself. I am often moved to tears at the strength and resilience so many people have.

Change is really, really hard. And while I am often gently pushing people towards change and often become frustrated when my clients are resistant to it. I TOTALLY get it. Because I don’t want to change either! I don’t want to fail at things, it doesn’t feel good. I don’t want to feel rejected, because that really doesn’t feel good. Sometimes it’s easier to just do things as we’ve always done them, even when it has long been broken. Sometimes it’s easier not to open the door to our dark and twisty “stuff.” Sometimes it’s easier to push snooze and sleep in, rather than get up and go for a run. Sometimes it’s easier to stay in on a Friday night than go out and meet new people. Sometimes it’s easier to have a fight with our loved ones than to talk about what’s really bothering us. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that we’re okay, than to admit that we’re hurt, beaten down and feeling worthless. 

With all of that said, if we are stagnant, stuck and hopeless, we are not working towards our best selves. 
So, you didn’t get a chance to work out today. Get up and do it tomorrow morning. 
So, you went on another bad date. Go out on go on another one this weekend. 
So, you ate two cookies too many. Eat a big salad tomorrow for lunch. 
So, you proposed something at work and it fell flat. Keep thinking outside of the box and propose something else next month.
So, you got angry and said something you didn’t mean. Go to that person and apologize. 

I know it’s hard and that sometimes life keeps hitting us while we are down. And that sometimes it feels like if one more thing happens we are thisclose to having a breakdown. Every step is movement forward. Even if it’s a teeny, tiny baby step. We have to keep moving forward, to keep trying. Time is going to pass anyway. I keep having to remind myself that the very fact that I failed, means that I tried. And that is something to be grateful for.

So much love and encouragement, friends. We’re in this together.

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