You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2013.

Today I am grateful for:

Philly. I am so in love with this city and I fall more in love with it everyday. I’ve grown into an adult here, made a great career for myself and built a strong and encouraging support network. I often think about what my life would be like if I hadn’t decided to move here. It’s almost unimaginable to me.

Addie. I adore her. I am so thankful that she came into my life.

My job. I cannot even begin to describe how honored and humbled I am on a day to day basis. I get to know people so intimately and participate in discussions that are difficult every single day. I learn so much from each of my clients. On top of that, I am surrounded by amazing clinicians. These people are incredible and I learn so much from them as well.

Making choices that scare the shit out of me. Actively choosing to be terrified is a tough road to go down. It will pay off in the end in the lessons and growth alone.

Feeling like I’m managing all parts of my life well. And then living in that place where I have to constantly remind myself to enjoy it, rather than squash it by foreboding joy. This looks like “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Instead, I am believing that good things can happen to good people.

Feeling lighter and at peace. Appreciating coming out of the valley. Reflecting on where I’ve been. It’s been a roller coaster of a year, y’all.

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Today I am grateful for:

Self compassion. A hand placed over my heart while breathing deeply and saying loving and reassuring things to myself is totally rejuvenating.

Bacon guacamole. Seriously. I am SO thankful someone thought this up!

Unexpected days off. I took myself on several dates around the city over the weekend. I went to the movies, I had appetizers and drinks with friends. I got a manicure. Being kind to myself goes a long way.

Taking risks- being brave, patient and courageous. As my girl Brenè says, “it is ironic that I feel most scared when I am being brave.” Amen, sister.

Love. I love love, y’all.

Being all caught up on paperwork! It only happens about once a year, but it should be an observed holiday for sure.

Today I am grateful for:

Weekends filled with friendship and laughter. I got to spend most of my weekend with some of the best people I know. I made new friends. I talked and laughed loudly and really enjoyed the company of the people I was with. I was present and engaged- it was fantastic. Not to mention, that it was perfect summer weather, sunny with a cool breeze. I don’t think I could have planned a better weekend.

Restful sleep.

Testaments to healthy relationships. My parents have been married for 34 years. They have one of the best relationships I know. They appreciate and love each other so much. I think what helps make their relationship so strong is that in addition to being in love, they are also great friends. And they seem to make time to be silly with each other. An important component in any relationship! I really liked this article about this topic: (http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/08/04/6-reasons-your-relationship-is-suffering)

Having conversations that help to move things around and allow for healing in new ways.

I found myself in an interesting place today.

I do some volunteer work with a suicide prevention organization. One of the services the organization provides is to outreach to people and families who have recently lost a loved one to suicide. The volunteers have all lost someone themselves and are able to provide support and connection with people often without even opening their mouths. There is an unspoken understanding among us, we are affected in ways that no one else can begin to comprehend unless they have gone through it too.

Today, I went on an outreach visit to a woman who had just lost her son. As I was sitting with her in her immense pain, I had one of those moments where I felt really overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed by how much I could identify with her pain and confusion. I felt overwhelmed by how much I still miss my friend Steve who died by suicide almost six years ago. I felt overwhelmed by how much time had passed since Steve died. I felt overwhelmed that even though it has been six years, it feels like no time has passed at all.

I felt overwhelmed by how my life has turned out, by how much I’ve grown, by how much I’ve loved and how much I’ve lost. The woman looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked me, “life goes on, right? life still moves?” I looked at her long and hard and nodded. I knew exactly what she was asking me. That the life that she knew was gone forever. That everyday that she woke up, she’d have to adjust, she’d have to remind herself that her son was gone. That for the foreseeable future, life would be a really hard struggle. But yes, life continues. It does. Even when it seems impossible.

I watched an episode of True Blood last night that totally applies to how I’m feeling. The main character is hugging her friend who is sobbing and she says to her, “Look at me. You are one of the strongest people I know. I don’t know why you’ve been tested the way you have, but you always get through. And I’m gonna be there to make sure that you do.”

That’s what we need when life beats the shit out of us. People to be by our side. People to pick us up when we are down. People to remind us of who we are, when we are in too deep and lose sight of it.

Today I am grateful for:
Moments of connection with complete strangers.
Moments that help to put things in perspective.
Moments that leave me feeling contemplative.
Reminders to be gentle and kind to myself.

Today I am grateful for:

Things that cause wide grins to spread slowly across my face and stay there. Like this: