You are currently browsing the monthly archive for November 2013.

Today I am grateful for:

My soft bed.
Plenty of blankets and a snuggle buddy to keep me warm.
A nice apartment to call home.
Health insurance.
A full fridge.
Friends and family who love me.
The ability to pay for water, heat, and electricity.
Access to clean water and air.

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Today I am grateful for:

My room mates. They crack me up and take good care of me. Our apartment is full with lots of laughter and jokes. Our apartment is also full of people lately, which I’ve been enjoying. This morning one of my roomies made me coffee while the other packed my lunch. If I’m going to live with people, this is the way to go.

Staying out late on a Tuesday. Second place in Quizzo! Yeah buddy.

Today I am grateful for:

Morning walks with my girl. Especially when it’s snowing outside. I may have been a tad more excited than her. 🙂

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Addie’s silly faces that express annoyance towards her Mom. She loves me, I swear.

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Today I am grateful for:

Wishes all day long on the luckiest day of the year- 11/11.

Today I am grateful for:

Friends who give it to me straight.

I’ve been having a hard time missing someone lately. I’ve been looking at photos, reading old emails and journal entries from when I was happy. It’s a bad cycle that I get into and I then can’t stop myself until I’m feeling really, really low. I shared my new hobby with a good friend, expressing to her that I was slightly embarrassed. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Does it hurt when you do that?” Surprised, I looked at her, laughed and replied, “of course it hurts!”
“Then don’t do it! Seriously, Ang, you have to stop. This isn’t leading you anywhere good.”

I’ve posted this sticky note on my desk and look at it every time I’m tempted to take a walk down memory lane. I’ve got good friends and tough love to be grateful for today.

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I’m also grateful for reminders like this. No matter what, I gotta show up in life. I gotta keep moving. Life continues on whether I’m ready for it or not.

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Today I am grateful for:

Live music. Nothing rejuvenates me more than a live show. The way the music moves through and washes over me. Nothing clears my mind and sets my worries to rest like being in a room completely immersed in music.

Today I am grateful for:

Doing all that I can to spread love to everyone around me. Small gifts left on a co-workers desk. Mixed CDs for a friend just because. Extra long hugs. Long phone calls with friends far away. Buying a cup of coffee for the person in line behind me. Smiling at a stranger, asking them how they are and then really listening to their answer. These small acts of kindness really help me feel connected to others.

Getting my finances straight. Look away Mom and Dad! This is the first month in over a year that I’ve been in the black in my bank account. It feels amazing.

Employee appreciation day at my job. It’s nice to be recognized for a job well done.

Witnessing tender moments where people really try to do something different in their interactions. My clients are so strong and resilient. What an honor it is to be part of these moments, to help facilitate conversations that foster change, growth and connection.

My dear friends,

2013 has been the year of vulnerability for me. I have taken so many great risks. And with those risks have come two significant heartbreaks. I dated and fell for a good friend with whom it didn’t work out with. Then only months later, met a fantastic man who came into my life like a whirlwind and left just as quickly. My heart needs a rest.

It’s interesting to think about a time when I didn’t know him. I was blissfully oblivious. I almost wish that I could go back to the time when I didn’t know he existed. A time when I didn’t have to wonder so much. It’s hard to walk around certain parts of the city now. Things that used to have no meaning or significance are loaded. Certain songs, places and blocks are not safe. I find myself holding my breath sometimes, doing a quick scan to make sure he’s not around. It is the worst thinking that he is only several blocks away, but miles away from the spaces we used to share.

I think about all of the people I encounter daily, of all the people I have known, of all the people I have not yet met. Only a handful have impacted me. Have really reached in and mattered. I am different now because of him. So many memories. So much love and laughter. Too many tears. So many things that could have been and never will be.

I know that with time that this won’t feel so heavy. As leaves change color and fall. As it gets colder and the streets become blanketed in snow and then warmer again. Days, weeks and months will pass. This will get easier. I will be okay. He will become faded and cross my mind less and less. He will become a fellow that I used to know. Someone that I’ll remember in passing. Someone that used to be really important to me. Maybe someday I won’t have to remind myself to forget about him.

Today I am grateful for:
Missing someone so much that it hurts. It means that I loved someone. The loss is unbearable at times, but it still means that I loved.
Songs that rip my heart up. Like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCQQANWLvQA
All of the growth and change gained from these experiences.
Strength, resiliency and grace.

Today I am grateful for:

Weekends that make getting up on Monday mornings really, really hard. I barely slept, drank too much and had the perfect amount of fun. It will be difficult to be a functional person today. I have no regrets, friends.

Mornings with my pup. Addie and I were curled up and snuggling together. The alarm went off and as we looked at each other, and said, “let’s not get up.” I read and she fell back asleep- her adorable, furry head on my tummy. After we took a walk outside, I sipped my coffee slowly while listening to Ray LaMontagne. Addie snored softly on the bed, the sunlight streamed in and brought out the highlights in her fur. Feeling filled with so much love for my girl.

Feeling connected to the city and all of the beautiful people I get to call my friends.

Dancing and singing in bars to 80s pop songs.

Seasonally appropriate weather. Winter is my season. I loooove the cold.

Hats, scarves and mittens.

Today I am grateful for:

Sleep-overs, snuggles and early morning giggles. Recaps of the night before, while slowly shaking my head at events that I didn’t quite remember.

Realizing that people are well intentioned. They don’t intend to hurt us. When we invite someone into our hearts, we invite them to love us. And also to hurt us. We hope that they won’t, but they will. It’s part of being in any kind of relationship with someone.

YouTube app on Chrome. So much music. SO MUCH MUSIC!

A new roomie who makes coffee every single morning. Yeah buddy.